1. |
Where's My Village?
04:09
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Fire flickering in the night
Children bickering at my knee
I want to be alone and out of sight
I cannot find my true delight
Dragged down by responsibility
I wanna hold a guitar instead of a baby
Wanna find my identity
Wanna sing to the world
Wanna find my voice
Soon it will unfurl
Eight years since I’ve had a song in my head
Eight years of stifled creativity
Kids clamour louder than my soul to be fed
But I need something else in my life instead
Before I enter insanity
I wanna hold a guitar instead of a baby
Wanna find my identity
Wanna sing to the world
Wanna find my voice
Soon it will unfurl
No one says how hard it is this mothering
Where’s my village when I truly need it?
No one tells you how smothering
I’m fighting for air underneath it
No one wants to hear my truth
But I’m gonna speak it
I wanna hold a guitar instead of a baby
Wanna find my identity
Wanna sing to the world
Wanna find my voice
Soon it will unfurl
So I’m gonna hold a guitar instead of a baby
Gonna find my identity
Gonna sing to the world
Gonna find my voice
Soon it will unfurl
Here it is unfurled
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2. |
My Little Girl
04:48
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My little girl, don’t you cry
My little girl, I can’t deny
That you’re still with me after all these years
Your pretty face still stained with tears
You never got what you deserved
Your rage and sadness went unobserved
My little girl, why can’t you rest?
My little girl, you’re so distressed
What can I give you, what can I say?
How can I take your pain away?
I just don’t know how to mother you
I’ll do my best though to get you through
My little girl, the danger’s passed
My little girl, I’m glad you asked
For everything you never had
A loving mother, a present dad
I feel your yearning for love and care
Sitting lonely on the top stair
My little girl, there’s so much loss
My little girl, you’ve come across
The hurt inside me I’ve stored so long
The shame, the guilt, always feeling wrong
But you won’t let me stuff it back in
It’s time to heal now, let us begin
My little girl, it’s time to go
My little girl, it’s time to grow
Hand in hand I’ll walk with you
No need to worry, I will be true
No abandonment this time my friend
I’ll hold you tightly, your heart can mend
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3. |
Dragonfly Clouds
05:02
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Feel the evening breeze
Floating with the leaves
How does it make you feel
When the world looks this unreal?
Do you feel all right?
Do you feel just fine?
Hear the seagulls rasping cry
Catch the air that they defy
How does it make you feel
When life is this ideal?
Do you feel all right?
Do you feel just fine?
And look at the dragonflies
Fill the iridescent skies
How do you think they feel
When the earth looks this surreal?
We feel all right
We feel just fine
Now look into my eyes
No cobwebs there, no disguise
And tell me how you feel
As our love is revealed?
Do you feel all right
Now that we’re entwined?
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4. |
Elemental
04:32
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You caught my eye across the fire
And threw it back, a wayward glance
That ignited irresistible desire
My truest nature quite by chance
Illuminated by your advance
So come with me across the water
Walk with me on this sweet earth
Breathe with me as our air mingles
The flame you’ve kindled lights your worth
I slumbered on til your eloquent smile
Aroused long half-forgotten dreams
Forbidden charms of your elegant style
I resist no more, for so it seems
There’s room for me in nature’s schemes
So come with me across the water
Walk with me on this sweet earth
Breathe with me as our air mingles
The flame you’ve kindled lights your worth
It may well be that our skin shall never meet
The thrill of touch yours alone to grant
I do not expect, persuade, cajole, entreat
My struggle you’ve helped me to supplant
With acceptance and love
You’ll always enchant
So come with me across the water
Walk with me on this sweet earth
Breathe with me as our air mingles
The flame you’ve kindled lights your worth
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5. |
Journey's End
03:28
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I’ve climbed many a frosty mountain
Stopped to drink at yonder fountain
Tramped through fields and over hills
Along the river and past the mills
But my aching, aging legs portend
That I have reached my journey’s end
I’ve loved many a bonny young boy
A forward girl was I, not coy
I don’t regret a single kiss
How else could I thus reminisce?
Glad my youth I did misspend
Now I have reached my journey’s end
Many’s the babe that I brought forth
And many’s the babe now in the earth
Many’s the tear escapes my eye
As I remember each soul’s cry
We’ll reunite as I ascend
And embrace with joy my journey’s end
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6. |
Different Flowers
03:24
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My mother bore strong bonny daughters
No single son, for fate did thwart her
But of my dear sisters five
Only one is still alive
Oh, how I miss my sisters dear
Oh, how I wish that they were near
A sister’s warm arms to hold my child
A sister’s safe smile to calm my wild
A sister’s full tears when life goes wrong
A sister’s kind words to keep me strong
My life alone is hard to bear
So much loss is so unfair
So much to share stays locked inside
Deep secrets of mine I cannot confide
No one I trust more than you four
But alas you are no more, no more
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7. |
An Ordinary Man
06:24
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You were just an ordinary man
At least that’s what I used to think
But men have done this since time began
When you spied me, did you plan
To beguile me with your double-think?
I was not an ordinary girl
Wasn’t put on this Earth for your delight
But you thought you’d give it a whirl
See if I’d disclose my tender pearl
To satisfy your appetite
Mine was not an ordinary mind
But shaped by long hard years of yearning
Maturity and helplessness combined
To make me a truly precious find
How could I mistake my lust for learning?
Ours was not an ordinary love
You nourished me in my starvation
And handled with me artful gloves
A raven masquerading as a dove
Intent on your own callous predation
This is not an ordinary rage
My heart and soul fill with disgust
No redress, revenge can ever assuage
The grief, the pain at my tender age
Trampled by your hoary feet
Soon you’ll be dust
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8. |
Fire Is A-Burning
02:50
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Oh, fire is a-burning bright in my soul
Oh, fire is a-burning bright in my soul
Fire is a-burning bright in my soul
No one can quench my flame
Oh, love it is a-whispering deep in my heart
Oh, love it is a-whispering deep in my heart
Oh, love it is a-whispering deep in my heart
No one can quench my flame
Oh, joy it is a-shouting, it will not lie down
Oh, joy it is a-shouting, it will not lie down
Oh, joy it is a-shouting, it will not lie down
No one can quench my flame
And peace it is a-spreading all over my life
Oh, peace it is a-spreading all over my life
Oh, peace it is a-spreading all over my life
No one can quench my flame
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9. |
Daddy
03:49
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Holding my hand like you never did
Lifting me up, spinning me around
Kicking, screaming, laughing like a kid
Gently placing me back on the ground
Oh Daddy, why did you leave me?
Come back please
What did I do wrong?
On the Ferris wheel at the funfair
Loving, trusting that you’ll keep me safe
Of your fears and flaws I’m unaware
Five years old, a happy, singing waif
Oh Daddy, why did you leave me?
Come back please
What did I do wrong?
You took me back to her that summer’s day
She was ill and cruel as you well knew
Against your carelessness I now inveigh
You don’t understand what I went through
Oh Daddy, why did you leave me?
Come back please
What did I do wrong?
Forty years have passed and I still cry
An abandoned child still haunts my soul
I don’t remember well our last goodbye
But I have never since felt quite whole
Oh Daddy, why did you leave me?
Come back please
I did nothing wrong.
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10. |
Climbing The Wall
05:07
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It’s that time again
Does it always have to end like this?
I close my eyes in vain
Shifting shapes and colours behind them.
Climbing the wall
Climbing the wall inside my brain
Will I ever get over it?
Weightless in the darkness
Time and space support my puny frame
I close my eyes again
But the stillness of sleep does not find them
Climbing the wall
Climbing the wall inside my brain
Will I ever get over it?
Colours turn to grey
Sunlight pokes the corners of my eyes
Which open to the day
Blinking away the shadows which blind them
Climbing the wall
Climbing the wall inside my brain
Will I ever get over it?
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11. |
The Drowning
05:23
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You bear a likeness
To the deep dark salty sea
And I bear a baby
From the love of you and me
I remember when we first met
You saved me from my fears
I was young and beautiful
You wiped away my tears
You promised me your faithful love
You promised me your heart
I was young and foolish
I thought we would never part
Drowning in your love
Drowning in your love
Drowning in your love
I was drowning in your love
But soon you tired of love and land
Slipped away on a ship in the night
To travel once more to a different shore
Where the sun beats hot and bright
Then I heard you never reached land again, but lie
In a deep dark salty tomb
And I must find some comfort now
In the child nestled in my womb
Drowning in my tears
Drowning in my tears
Drowning in my tears
I am drowning in my tears
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12. |
Our Old Love
02:56
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Our old love glows ember red
The bright flame long since dead
A comforting warmth left in its wake
My love glows for love’s sake
For love’s sake
Our old love has rusted brown
We left too long in the ground
Our precious gift I excavate
A token for my soul-mate
For my soul-mate
Our old love has tarnished grey
But I will not cast away
The silver thread weaving our tears
Into a tapestry of years
Tapestry of years
Our old love has clouded white
Yet in our lives we still delight
Feeding pleasures of body and mind
Our true purpose so entwined
So entwined
Our old love it now grows green
New shoots appearing, fresh and keen
A flower opens in my breast
My life, my love
Are truly blessed
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Nina Lifely Bristol, UK
Nina Lifely grew up in Gravesend, where she learnt to express herself musically through playing flute and singing with the Kent Youth Choir, and later, Queens’ College Chapel Choir, Cambridge, The music-making was interrupted by a career in social research and two children, to be resumed only in 2018, when counselling for childhood trauma unexpectedly unlocked her creativity. ... more
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